i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
