The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
