Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
