just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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