This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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