Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
