So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
