YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
