He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
