I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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