he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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