Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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