So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
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I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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