peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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