do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
