I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize