What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
