Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
its not stalking. its research.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
