She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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