spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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