In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
