is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
