were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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