I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
