I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
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