walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize