Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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