do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize