You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
