doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
