Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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