i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
