some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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