Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize