fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
