just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
