***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
