I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
