Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
