But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
