thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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