He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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