the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
