your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
