pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I FOUND THE LEGS
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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