I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
