Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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