I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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