so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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