Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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