My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
