the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
