you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
