Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
