So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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