I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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