so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
