Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
