I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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