He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
