I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
