The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
