Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
