Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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